To my old friends who haven’t heard from me in a while, so, a long while, know I still love you and I will try and do better.

Did you know that Galena is the 3rd most visited city in Illinois? Right behind Chicago and Springfield (Lincoln’s home town). Anyways, it’s a great place to visit, we can highly recommend it.

The last 2 places of note that we ate at in Galena were Fried Green Tomatoes on Monday night and the Perry Street Brasserie on Tuesday.

First, Fried Green Tomatoes (FGT)… we had to order the signature appetizer for which the place is named and it was very tasty. I did not expect the tomatoes to be crunchy. They were breaded, fried, covered in a marinara sauce and topped with melted mozzarella. It was very good but we probably should not have gotten it cause there was just so much food served. Every entree comes with soup and salad, served in courses, with a loaf of bread. By the time the entree comes out you’re getting full. Not to worry the main course is so tasty you forget you are not hungry. Heather is a fettuccine alfredo connoisseur and says that the measure of a good italian restaurant can be discerned by their alfredo sauce. I don’t know about that but I like my alfredo cheesy, not just creamy. i am no connoisseur, I am just speaking for myself but I think the flavor of the cheesy gives the sauce it’s distinctive taste and the alfredo at FGT had distinctive taste My seared scallops were divine though I must confess that a little butter sauce on scallops isn’t that complicated, I love it. Scallops are easily my favorite seafood and FGT’s offering was delicious. Heather absolutely loved the peanut butter dessert they had though i was really too full to properly appreciate it. It was like a creamy, thick peanut butter mousse with a cookie crust on the bottom and gnash on the top.

Far and away my favorite place was the Perry Street Brasserie. Aside from their awesome food, they have this interesting collection of monumental brass, a very large collection from what the back of the menu tells us. The father and son team that own the place and run it were very personable and made the meal that much more enjoyable. But the main thing is that “dad” can cook and I mean he’s a top rate chef. And it does not seem that he knows any limits as he cooks the dinners and the desserts and both are amazing.

The sample menu at the website is just that, a sample. Their menu changes monthly. Heather had the NY strip and though she had them cook it medium well it still tasted good, i had to have a couple of bites:) They put this sauce on it, I don’t know what it was but man it was delicious. I had the duck with lamb tenderloin. Now I have been disappointed many times with duck and only ordered it because I was feeling daring, assuming the price they were charging inferred they knew how to prepare it. I was not disappointed this time, it was fabulous. The tenderloin practically melted in my mouth, need I say more?

You could tell that everything was crafted with care right down to the side dishes. We had the pecan encrusted potato croquette, and wow. I’ll say it again, delicious.

The pièce de résistance of the evening was the desserts. Heather had their signature dessert, the chocolate cup, ’cause, well, it’s chocolate and man oh man the dark chocolate ganach was richer and creamer then most anything I have ever had. I had the Banofti tart, apparently the Queen’s favorite dessert. It has a creamy English toffee, banana slices, and Kahlua mousse in a large tart shell, mmmm…

An aside, I haven’t talked any about alcohol. Sorry, I am just not a wine drinker. I have tried to learn about it in the past but I prefer beer. Good beer, not that swill sold by the case at the convenience store. I only had a couple during trip and the only of note was what I had at the Brasserie. It is called Red Seal Ale by the North Coast Brewing Company and I found it tasty. It had a nice bitter to it that I like in my ales and I found it a very satisfying compliment to the meal.

And that about ends my comments on our trip to Galena. I know it was mostly about food, but we really didn’t do much else beside some shopping and catching up on movies. That was purposeful, both Heather and myself just wanted to go somewhere and relax, enjoying each others company and giving ourselves room for being lazy. Mission accomplished!

A final note, I want to give out another plug for the Bernadine’s Stillman Inn. It is a great place to stay. Dave, the proprietor is a really friendly guy and the place has a really homey feel to it. “Like going to visit your grandparent’s house when you are little” kind of comfortable and familiar is what Dave remarked that some have said and I have to agree.

Also, they tell me Galena got it’s name from the natural mineral of the same name that is otherwise known as lead sulfide. (Wikipedia link.) This is because, you guessed it, this is what was the area’s chief export in it’s initial heyday of the early 19th century.

Ok, on to the important stuff. we scored with the restaurant selection since Saturday night. Bernadine’s Stillman Inn serves up a tasty breakfast daily so that’s covered. Yesterday we went to lunch at Vinny Vanucchi’s Little Italy and in word, since i am not a review, nummy. Heather had shells stuffed with ricotta in an alfredo sauce and I had one of the house specialties, the seafood italiano i think it was called, whic had shirmp, scallops, lobster, etc… covered in cheesy goodness. We followed it up with dinner at a new restaurant called One Eleven Main. Heather had this awesome chicken with with garlic mashed potatos that tasted just like you always hope they would when you order them in the restaurant. I had the new york strip, peppered, with blue cheese mashed potatos, oh so good! both came with these brussel sprouts in a butter sauce with bacon bits that was the perfect compliment.

Today we went to Durty Gurt’s Burger Joynt with their big, juicy burgers and homemade fries. Sorry, no website. Their motto is, “You have two choices for dinner, take it or leave it!” Corny, but good burgers.

One of the things we like to do is grab a christmas ornament from the places we visit. It was a bummer last year when we went to Cedarburg, WI and counldn’t find one. It looked like this trip would have the same fate, not even the seasonal store, you know the obligatory holiday store that is in every tourist center, had one so we were doubtful we would fine one but today luck smiled on us and we found a great little ornament of Grant’s house. Whew, that was a close one!

Here are some of the links that I looked at prior to choosing Galena:

http://www.galena.org/
http://www.galena.com/
http://www.galenachamber.com/

I’ll let you know if we like it or not.

This is a great site that helps me track calories, fat, carbs and protein as well as exercise. My favorite part of the site is the recipe analysis feature where you add a new recipe and it spits out all the nutritional information based on the raw ingredients entered. It is not 100%, for instance, it is not easy to switch out a single ingredient with something similar to adjust the recipe when the analysis comes back slightly off, but that is a little thing. I have found that the database is fairly comprehensive and it is easy to add items not listed and tag them for quick reference in the future.

The best part about the site is that it is free (actually ad sponsored). About.com has always been really good about the quality and type of ads allowed so having to put up with that to get such a good service for free is more than acceptable to me.

The due date is June 23rd, 2009. Barring a moment of weakness, we are going to go ahead and let the gender be a surprise.

One of the other things that happened to me in the last month is that I got laid off from my job. It was the grace of God that they gave me over two months notice so I was able to mobilize and find a new gig within a couple of weeks. It is a real blow to one’s confidence to be laid off even if it is just a financial thing, I was bummed for a week. But, I got three interviews right away and from those three I got two offers and a call back! Now that was a great confidence boost that more then offsets the previous blow.

So I am pretty happy right now. I have an awesome home life, a great new job and prospects for going back to school next fall to get me some continuing education. I want to work on being more active at my church, bluer, lose some weight and learn guitar but things are good over all.

If you think about it, pray for my mom. She has been fighting breast cancer for a year and a half now. It’s a real bummer but I am hopeful for the future. God can do anything so I am still praying for the miraculous and would ask you to also.

99.1GB or 106,435MB

311 Albums

-=Averages=-

342MB/Album

29MB/Song

I cannot stand the idea of compressing my music and excepting the following loss in audio quality, that’s why I chose the lossless compression route. Larger files? Yes. Much greater audio jam satisfaction? Most definitely, yes!

You’re getting the hang of it now. No gift for this one,

’cause you haven’t even left the house yet.

Here’s the next one:

A fellow cohort in crime,

she has been my best friend since before graduation in ’89,

has the next clue.

Drat, wrong clue! Here’s what was supppose to be in this post originally:

You found the clue! Yay! Now here is the next:

There are 14 of these, one for each month we have been together.

In one of these balls of hot air,

blown up with great care,

is your next clue.

Note: To all my friends reading this with confused looks on their faces, all will be revealed in short order, but for now, this message is just for Heather.

]]> http://www.revivalprojects.com/journal/?feed=rss2&p=103 0 http://www.revivalprojects.com/journal/?p=99 http://www.revivalprojects.com/journal/?p=99#comments Wed, 08 Feb 2006 21:07:20 +0000 Mark Miron http://journal.ragedied.com/?p=99 This song came into my head on the news of loosing my part-time gig at the end of march.

Have you ever seen an idealist
With grey hairs on his head
Or successful men who keep in touch
With unsuccessful friends?
You only think you do
I could have sworn I saw it too
But as it turns out,
It was just a clever ad for cigarettes

Cause if it isn’t making dollars
Then it isn’t making sense
If you aren’t moving units
Then you’re not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this
If it isn’t penetration
Then it isn’t worth a kiss

We’re so sorry, sir,
But you did not quite make the cut this time
We’d appriciate it if you’d get
Your stuff all out by five
Don’t take it personal
Everyone knows you did your best
If it makes it easier,
You should look at things from our perspective

Cause if it isn’t making dollars
Then it isn’t making sense
If you aren’t moving units
Then you’re not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this
If it isn’t penetration
Then it isn’t worth a kiss

Penetration by Pedro the Lion from the Control album

for some reason that made me think about this quote from Shakespeare’s Caesar:

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world Like a Colossus; and we petty men Walk under his huge legs and peep about To find ourselves dishonorable graves. Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves,that we are underlings.

Take my hand
And lead me to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spokenm
To love another person
Is to see the face of God.

The musical was one of the most beautiful works that I have ever seen. It ended up being the absolute best thing Heather and I could have done to celebrate our one year anniversary.

You could tell that she was a searcher. A lazy searcher perhaps, she wasn’t knocking down my door or anything but I knew she was open to a good conversation about God, and maybe open to being convinced about my take on the nature of God. I didn’t get a feeling from her that she was just passing the time or being polite in our conversations, rather the interest was in her eyes and was genuine.

It blows me away that I let this friendship linger, disintegrate even, over the last two years. Even after I found out last year that her brother died of basicly the same type of circumstances and knew that she may be heading down the same road too, still I never got a hold of her to see how she was doing, to invite her to coffee. I was the closest thing to a pastor that she probably had in her life and right or wrong I feel that I failed her.

Now she is gone and I am left with questions. Was I blind to her needs? Am I so far from God that I couldn’t see? Did I ignore God and choose not to see? Have I sinned here?

I question my commitment to the Kingdom when I see the hurting and the lost and just turn away. I think of my friend and, with the benefit of hindsight, know that she was just the type of person that needed to see the Kingdom of God at work in someone’s life. Would that have saved her life? Would that have made her passing more peaceful? Man, I don’t know.

Perhaps it is simply pride that makes me think that the impact of my life intersecting with her’s could of changed her destiny. Sometimes I think that this guilt that we Christians feel when have not done all that we could of is simple pride. When I think that I failed God when he “needed” me or that I failed my friend when she “needed” me makes me wonder about may perception of place in God’s Kingdom. The very nature of this thinking puts me so much in the center of things, makes me so necessary and integral to the end result. It makes me feel icky, just the thought of being so narcistic.

A more generous view is that I have this gift that changed my life forever inside of me. The very spirit of the living God is alive in me, overflowing my cup and spilling out onto the world around. My life is not so special rather the life that is in me is infinitely special. It is His life in me that is what is lifechanging to anyone and everyone, even for… especially for my friend. It is this life, and the love that comes with it, which I have to offer… which I feel that I have held back too often, that I feel I held back from my friend… and now she is gone.

What was I writing about now? (reread) Oh yes, and the longer the post gets the more I have to reread, just to make sure that I am staying on target and insuring the there is a flow to the text. The more I type the less sure I become of the validity and logical strength of what I am saying and the more I worry about all the missing clarifying statements that would make my point clearer and sway the detractors. Then I think to myself, “Was that last sentence too Pauline?” You know, some of of the Apostle Paul’s epistles have sentences that go on and on. So I reread and determine that I am unable to come up with a better way to communicate my point without a major rewrite, and now I am feeling the crunch of time. I have spent way too much time on this post already, so things will just have to stand as is.

But wait, isn’t the purpose off this post to convey something of value to the imagined millions of readers? Don’t I owe the person reading this post something of consequence, something legible, something consise? After all, they are taking valuable time to read this post and I should respect that. Truth is I just do not want to look like a fool.

And spelling, I say big words all the time and don’t even think about it. But spelling is not speaking so spell checks abound. At this point I think to myself that people should not use words in conversation that they cannot spell. But this thought is problematic as I do not want to give up the word vociferous (spell checked) or picturesque (spell checked again) and for some reason their spelling just does not stick with me.

Am I still on point? (reread, edit)

As I look at the time I have wasted, a half-hour on three stupid paragraphs, I begin to wish, yet again, that I could type faster, because I don’t have time for this. Maybe I should save a draft and come back tot the text later. That isn’t going to work, I have posts in the draft folder that have been in there for 6 months.

The draft folder is a leppers’ island of malformed posts, it is where these poor creatures go to to die. Perhaps that is too harsh, I mean these posts may never see the light of day but they still have each other. They are there to comfort one another and they do not judge one another. You will never see one of these draft posts snicker at the misspellings, bad grammar choices and incompleteness of another because it knows it is just as flawed a creation.

No, the choice is either to slave away at the current post or delete it entirely. Deleting the post is a sure way of making sure that the last half-hour has been a total waste of time but even that may be perferrable to the humiliation of a poorly written post, that is being judged by all and by proxy, allowing people to judge me. Oh, the horror!

Man, narcissism sucks!

Subject: [Bluer Community] Bluer on Nightline…TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!

I just now received a call from the producer that barring in breaking news, that the segment on emerging churches will be shown tonight at 10:35!

You should check it out.

This is exciting!

UPDATE

Watch the video.

1. twelve days of rioting in France by the marginalized immigrant population in that country
2. another defense attorney for the senior ex-Bath party officials in Iraq has been murdered
3. a short history of the fifty plus year struggle for the Kashmir province between India and Pakistan and it’s role in delaying relief aid getting to the victims of that massive earthquake
4. two explosions in busy marketplaces in India a few days back, attributed to the Kashmir separatists

I hear all this in the span of the twenty minutes that it takes for me to get to work in the morning. Events that are happening today, as I type, if you will, but have there roots in decades, if not centuries, of human history.

Top all this with the report of a friend who is in the Sudan, or near it, I am not certain, about this poor fellow who worked for an NGO in the area getting shot right in front of his pregnant wife and children and their car being torched. This one has not made the news. How many other events like this never make the news?

What’s my point? I don’t know. It is just that this is the world that we find ourselves in and I find myself asking the reflection in the mirror, “What are you going to do about it?” I can’t change the world but maybe, just maybe, being more aware of the injustice and suffering going on around the world can, at least, act as a catalyst for me act more justly and love mercy in the little part of it that i find myself in.

No specifics here, no answers, just reflections.

Over in the corner is the stack of books, Mark high, that need reading and the dusty volume of the Bible that really needs reading. That’s right next to the spot that I pray in that needs someone in it.

I look in the mirror and see a guy who needs to exercise and eat right, and needs some quality time with his girlfriend. And what about church, family and friends?

…Ok, so I feel like I should post something.

It made me immediately imagine a flower that is planted in the shade that was meant for open spaces and full sunlight. After a number of weeks the plant still has not bloomed and the gardener is frustrated because he knows what the plant is suppose to be like from the picture that came with the plant when he bought it at the store. In the picture, the plant is robust, coloriful and fragrant, but the thing before him is a sickly, drab eyesore. Our life can be like that plant, we wonder why it is not thriving, why it is not what it should be. What it is for us to be is still there inside us, it does not have to be manifactured or strived for, it is simply what we are. Rather we need to get out of the shade and into the light of day. We need to set ourselves before God and bask in His love, majesty, power… all that He is and all that He offers if we are to bloom.

All you have to do is trust God and learn to be captivated by our first love once again. So simple, but such a tall order. In my mind’s eye that life can seem a world away sometimes. Still, if we focus only on the situation that we find ourselves in, we are focusing on the shade/sin around us and not on the only thing that can change that state we find ourselves in, the sun/God.

Good comment John, thanks.

All that is not the reason for this post though, other then to say that I have been thinking about God’s ‘call’ on my life. What is the reason and purpose for me being here? This is a question that I feel I can answer with some level of confidence, yet I never do when posed the question. See, I think that I have a pretty good bead on the work that God has for me to do in His kingdom, it is just that I feel so far away from that person that I need to be to in order to do what I am ‘called’ to that I do not think I am that person yet.

This was pointed out to me in no uncertain terms yesterday, and it pissed me off. I am more mad at myself then anything else. What am I waiting for? I have known for some years the direction my life needs to go to fulfill this ‘call’ on my life, but yet I hesitate to commit myself to this path.

The answer is fear I am afraid . I have a huge fear of failure and of not being accepted that in some ways it has kept me chained to a place in my life that I do not want to be. Maybe you do not know what is like to be scared into inaction. It does not feel so much like fear I think, rather you feel numb and tired. It is kind of like a bug bite, you do not feel the bite so much as the itch that is your body’s response to it.

When I think of the task before me, I would rather sleep or watch movie or something, anything other then what I must do. It is almost a paralyzing way of interacting with the world but I have been able to get by pretty well none-the-less. Did I mention hating just getting by. I am not without hope though, it is impossible for me to believe that God has put this ‘call’ in my life and not also started me down the road of change necessary to become a person that can fulfill that ‘call’.

In truth I do not really ever want to feel like I am qualified for my ‘calling’ because in that I can see a sense of security and superiority that leads to complacency and self-dependence. The tension between my inability and the service I am ‘called’ to is the, potentially, perfect recipe for dependence on God and His sufficiency… but that is another story for another day.

So, what am I ‘called’ to? You know that when you speak something forth, it takes a certain unexplainable hold on reality. It is the nature of being created in the image of God that our words have the power to created or destroy, and am just not ready to create or destroy this ‘calling’ yet. So I will do something uncharacteristic and hold my tongue on this question.

Two blogs that have got me thinking about preparedness vs. God sufficiency:

Judy by Gordon Atkinson at Real Live Preacher

“You know about that deacon thing, how I was nominated and all?�
“Yeah.�
“Well, I was gonna say ‘No.’ I thought about it a lot, and I decided that I just wasn’t worthy of something like that. I mean, I just finally stopped smoking, and I still cuss sometimes. I’m trying to do better with that.â€?
I opened my mouth to say something, but she continued before I could get a word out.
“But then I read your book.” She began to smile. “And I thought, dang, if this guy can be the PASTOR of the church, surely I could be a deacon or something.â€?

Legalism by any other name is… by Scot McKnight at Jesus Creed

Instead of using “legalism,” which has become a bogey word for bogey opponents for each of us, why not shift this term to “covenant path markers” so we can get a fresh start on a genuinely serious problem we all face?

Here’s what covenant path markers do (and now I begin to extrapolate from Holmen’s study): first, they quantify covenant faithfulness into behavior that can be measured and seen; second, they enable us to “judge ourselves” on whether or not we are faithful; and third, they enable us to judge others on whether or not the others are faithful.

Legalism, aka covenant path marking, is a vicious form of life: instead of living faithfully, we are judging faithfulness. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for covenant faithfulness.)

The doctors are being compassionately pragmatic but are saying some very worrying things. They don’t speak in definitive terms but it seems that the form of cancer that my mom has is “aggressive” and needs to be treated aggressively.

So it looks like chemo, radiation and a drug trial are all part of a future that will drag on for the better part of a year, maybe more. Even then, after it is all said and done it may not be enough. I am getting the feeling from talking to my mom that the odds may be against recovery.

It is all so disturbing, I broke down for the first time last night. Dealing with the mortality of one’s parents is surprisingly difficult. Who thinks about these things before they have to? Who is prepared for these struggles?

It really makes me hate sin. I keep on thinking that if it were not for sin there would be no death and if their were no death my mom wouldn’t have to go through what she is right now. Over simplistic, I know.

I have no illusions about living a sin-free life from now foreword but I have become more aware of the cost sin has exacted from humanity through the suffering of my mom. It is a lesson I would rather not have to learn.

Breast Cancer Resources:

brestcancer.org
Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
National Breast Cancer Foundation